Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Run...

Every video game fanatic knows about "The Run." It's that time when you are just plain dominating in whatever video game you are playing, and then the unthinkable happens. In my case, this occurred during "The Binding Of Isaac." I somehow managed to get all the way to the Depths 2 with a full rack of hearts and a bottom row of soul hearts, not to mention, sister Magdaline, the deck of tarot cards, a 1up and a few stat upgrades as well, then Monstro 2 happened. For those of you not familiar with this game, I'll try my best to fill you in.

This was the thing that killed me...I HATE YOU MONSTRO II!!!!!!!
You are Issac, a young boy who escapes to his Mother's basement after his Mom begins to hear the voice of "God" and wants to kill you. The best way of describing this game is a Legend Of Zelda clone while instead of using a sword to attack, you fend monsters off with Issac's tears. The dungeons are random and power ups can be a toss up sometimes being either a lifesaver or in some cases, a royal pain in the butt. (More specifically the pills, it's always a 50/50 chance of either getting something awesome like full HP, or getting the bone with something called "Bad Trip". Now that I've filled you in with the concept of said game, we've gotta discuss this run, the whole point of this particular entry.

This particular playthrough followed up an almost equally awesome run in which that I got killed by a random fly...yes, flies are the bane of your existence in this game. Imagine having x-ray vision, 99 coins, (found the dollar from a slot machine) 15 bombs and 5 keys, oh and a full rack of hearts, to get one room away from the boss room only to find a room with projectiles spewing in every direction, and death following shortly after.

Screen shot of the game,  nowhere near illustrates my awesomeness I had going.

 I had decided that I had one more playthrough in me, after which it was bedtime. Well, 4 playthroughs later, and "The Run" happened. I whipped through the first 2 bosses (this playthrough Duke of Flies and Fistula) not to mention Gluttony and Envy, with no issues. I was getting awesome power ups one after the next, maxing out bombs, hearts and keys. I found Sister Magdaline who is basically a bloody fetus who shoots, well, blood at your enemies, then I found the 1up mushroom. This was amazing, maxed out regular hearts, maxed out soul hearts, I was ready to take on the world, then similar to my previous game, I got trolled by a room of re-spawning zombies with flies mixed in, I lost all my soul hearts but got to Monstro 2. Monstro's attack usually consists of spraying blood at you, jumping down and crushing you, and occasionally leaking out flies. Monstro 2, has an added bonus of shooting a f'n laser at not only am I getting owned by random splatters of blood, I'm getting nailed by this laser beam, this guy is seriously like the New Orleans Saints of this video game, total cheap shot artist. I get him down to nearly no health left, maybe 3 shots, I say maybe because I get killed. I respawn thanks to my 1up. I go back in the boss room, we are both at full health, it's on like Donkey Kong, he's going down. I ignore the cat sitting in meowing next to me and the fact it's almost 4 in the morning, this guy's done for, I'm getting to Mom and finishing this tonight. Monstro 2 basically mops the floor with me.

This was me after I died. 
 I get the famous kill screen, I was killed by a giant turd with a laser beam, I'm leaving all my awesome power ups to my cats Newton,Figaro,and Gizmo. I think it's time for bed.

Goodnight Cruel World...

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