Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Black Friday Rant

WARNING: This particular blog is gonna contain some stuff that might offend some of you, if you are easily offended or have a heart condition, come back in a week when I resume my fitness updates or write about something in a non-ranting format.

Not a rant about Rebecca Black's song Friday, but seriously don't get me started on that.
Black Friday, or the day after America's Thanksgiving holiday, not to be confused with the Steely Dan song by the same name is the purest form of evil ever created. Known to retailers as the busiest shopping day of the year, retailers use this day to make up sales for the year by "slashing prices" and offering "doorbuster deals!" Basically, it's a bunch of corporate fatcats saying, you know what would get people into our stores? Let's make our employees work at ungodly hours while the consumers being the bunch of cattle that they are trample each other to save a few bucks on crap they don't fucking need! Target and Wal-Mart are the biggest douchebags in all of this, opening at 8pm on Thanksgiving. Yeah, fuck the people that work there, people can't wait a fucking day to go "save" money on "stocking stuffers", they need to go out on a day you're supposed to be celebrating spending time with your families and giving thanks. The only thanks being given that day are by soccer moms and the elderly so they can ditch the Cowboys game and spend their night being a complete dick to other people and retail employees. I used to work at a toy store during black Friday, let me tell you, it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. The store opened at 5am, meaning employees had to be there by 4:30am. No sooner than 5:00am hit my boss tried, and I do mean tried to open the gate to the store, only to be trampled by fucking nut jobs trying to save 10 dollars on a fucking Razor scooter, do kids even ride those things anymore?! I mean seriously, you're gonna run someone over to save 10 fucking dollars? And this was pre-Bush, before the economy hit an all time low and guys like me had to work 2 jobs to pay their bills. Here's what I think all of these ass hats should go do:
All of these people are jackasses. 

Take all the money you "save" and donate to a food shelf, the salvation army, Toys for Tots, something, to make up for the fact you are indeed a worthless piece of crap sucking all the life out of the rest of us and deserve to have those "stocking stuffers" shoved up where the sun don't shine and take your "doorbuster deals" and shine those son of a bitches up real nice, and wait for it...shove them up your ass too! And so help me if you try to wish me a Merry Christmas...

/end rant.

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