Job hunting

So I recently left a job I hated, no, more like loathed, (I had a stomach ulcer and rather than getting to go to the hospital, was told to "tough it out." it took a call to my then district manager before I was allowed to go to the hospital, which was a good thing because I could've died!)  to try something in a different field. Well, 2 weeks later and I got let go from said job (F.G. was a crappy company to work for anyhow...) and am currently working at a retail location which shall remain nameless, but due to things outside of the companies control I'm only scheduled 1 day a week at this new job. So I did what any other person in my predicament would do. I've been applying to every company within a 20 mile radius of my house. Not sure if any of my readers have tried looking for work lately, but seriously WTF is with the assessment questions nowadays? I tried applying at a local restaurant, I guarentee you this place doesn't pay more than minimum wage, and they want me to write an essay as to why I want to work there. Really? You want to know why I want to work here, well, I need money so I don't lose my house, can buy food so I can eat, and not have to go on welfare? Is that a good enough reason? It gets better though, they want to know what I loved and hated about my previous jobs. I loved the fact they gave me money, I hated the fact they gave me little amounts of money for the amount of time I've spent at said jobs, or you know, the whole working for a place for almost 10 years and making less than a new hire. (Again, F you F***x!)

The part of this I find the most frustrating is that the U.S. is in this recession, people can't find work, people are filing for unemployment, my guess for the high rates of unemployment is due to the fact applying for a job takes 3 hours to do, if you can't use a computer or have internet access you don't get to work, no more filling out a 2 page application with black pen, no, you apply online, you write an essay on why you think that this company is the greatest thing since sliced bread and that you'd give up both of your testicles just to be a fucking cashier here, only to get a form letter. "Sorry you did not meet our requirements to work here, you obviously are way too intelligent and have a soul, we only hire mindless robots who don't question authority."

I guess I'll go back to being the tour guide on the jungle cruise ride...
This ends my rant, feel free to leave me comments below, it'll break up the repetitiveness of filling out my contact information and job history that they just had me upload in my resume...

Writing for Destructoid

http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Jradrox

The link you see here will take you to my Destructoid.com community blog, I'll still be posting some stuff here, but if you are into video games, this would be where to go.

The Run...

Every video game fanatic knows about "The Run." It's that time when you are just plain dominating in whatever video game you are playing, and then the unthinkable happens. In my case, this occurred during "The Binding Of Isaac." I somehow managed to get all the way to the Depths 2 with a full rack of hearts and a bottom row of soul hearts, not to mention, sister Magdaline, the deck of tarot cards, a 1up and a few stat upgrades as well, then Monstro 2 happened. For those of you not familiar with this game, I'll try my best to fill you in.

This was the thing that killed me...I HATE YOU MONSTRO II!!!!!!!

                                  
You are Issac, a young boy who escapes to his Mother's basement after his Mom begins to hear the voice of "God" and wants to kill you. The best way of describing this game is a Legend Of Zelda clone while instead of using a sword to attack, you fend monsters off with Issac's tears. The dungeons are random and power ups can be a toss up sometimes being either a lifesaver or in some cases, a royal pain in the butt. (More specifically the pills, it's always a 50/50 chance of either getting something awesome like full HP, or getting the bone with something called "Bad Trip". Now that I've filled you in with the concept of said game, we've gotta discuss this run, the whole point of this particular entry.

This particular playthrough followed up an almost equally awesome run in which that I got killed by a random fly...yes, flies are the bane of your existence in this game. Imagine having x-ray vision, 99 coins, (found the dollar from a slot machine) 15 bombs and 5 keys, oh and a full rack of hearts, to get one room away from the boss room only to find a room with projectiles spewing in every direction, and death following shortly after.

Screen shot of the game,  nowhere near illustrates my awesomeness I had going.

 I had decided that I had one more playthrough in me, after which it was bedtime. Well, 4 playthroughs later, and "The Run" happened. I whipped through the first 2 bosses (this playthrough Duke of Flies and Fistula) not to mention Gluttony and Envy, with no issues. I was getting awesome power ups one after the next, maxing out bombs, hearts and keys. I found Sister Magdaline who is basically a bloody fetus who shoots, well, blood at your enemies, then I found the 1up mushroom. This was amazing, maxed out regular hearts, maxed out soul hearts, I was ready to take on the world, then similar to my previous game, I got trolled by a room of re-spawning zombies with flies mixed in, I lost all my soul hearts but got to Monstro 2. Monstro's attack usually consists of spraying blood at you, jumping down and crushing you, and occasionally leaking out flies. Monstro 2, has an added bonus of shooting a f'n laser at you...so not only am I getting owned by random splatters of blood, I'm getting nailed by this laser beam, this guy is seriously like the New Orleans Saints of this video game, total cheap shot artist. I get him down to nearly no health left, maybe 3 shots, I say maybe because I get killed. I respawn thanks to my 1up. I go back in the boss room, we are both at full health, it's on like Donkey Kong, he's going down. I ignore the cat sitting in meowing next to me and the fact it's almost 4 in the morning, this guy's done for, I'm getting to Mom and finishing this tonight. Monstro 2 basically mops the floor with me.

This was me after I died. 

                               
 I get the famous kill screen, I was killed by a giant turd with a laser beam, I'm leaving all my awesome power ups to my cats Newton,Figaro,and Gizmo. I think it's time for bed.

Goodnight Cruel World...

My "Darkest" Video game secrets: (an idea stolen from Dragons are Delicious)

So my good pal Travis over at "Dragons Are Delicious" wrote an article about his video game secrets, I figured since I haven't written anything in a while, I'd do mine as well. So here we go, some things you didn't know about me, in regards to video games...

-I never finished Super Mario Bros 2, Keith Courage in Alpha Zone, or about 85% of the other "retro" titles we owned as kids, I did however beat Kung-Fu on the NES, multiple times.

- I once stayed up 24 hours playing Daytona USA, I did over 300 laps, as the horse. (it was a cheat code on the Saturn)

-The only sega consoles I didn't own as a child were the 32X and the Game Gear, and to this day I still don't.

-I've never fully played through FF7, I got bored 10 minutes into it.

- I didn't beat Secret of Mana until I was in my 20s, and had to do it on an emulator at that ( the cart was valued over 80 bucks by the time I got a SNES)

-I've never played the Silent Hill series, I'm planning on rectifying this now that the HD collection is out, and finishing the Jak and Daxter games ( I did beat 1).

That's about all I've got, until I think of something else to write about...

Saying goodbye...

The title says it all, I've finally reached that point in my life that it's time to put away childish things, and start focusing on being an adult. I'm in the process of selling off video games, not because I need the money, but because I realize that I'm getting older, I don't play them and someone else could be enjoying them instead of having them just sitting in a box buried in my basement. I dug out a box filled with old Ps2, N64 and Dreamcast games, all of them at one point in time were fun to me, now I look at them and all I can think of how much space they are taking up. To say a part of me died would be an understatement, a large chunk of me is gone, I no longer enjoy pro wrestling, video games just aren't that fun anymore, and I'm beginning to think that everything I've done up to this point in my life was a complete waste of time. I used to love computers, web design and drawing in general, hell, I've got a degree in multimedia and graphic design because of it. I'm starting to think that was a waste of time. All it got me is a job I'm unhappy at, but one that I'm too afraid to leave because of the economy. I'm hoping that slowly getting rid of stuff will help me find what is really important in life and maybe I can use the money I'm getting from this stuff to take a vacation and form new memories...

My review of WWE Wrestlefest: iPhone version

Note: I basically copied my review from the Kingdom of Foom forum so if you've already read it there, it's the same thing. 

Hey guys,
I've decided to take some time out of my semi-busy life to actually contribute back to the community that has given me so much entertainment, or something. Today I picked up WWE Wrestlefest for the iPhone for $2.99. (Just a heads up, if you own an iPad and an iPhone, the game isn't cross transferable, they are 2 separate apps!) 

Graphics: The graphics in this game are pretty amazing for an iOS game, it really has an arcade feel to it, the characters look like their real life counterparts, done in a comic book style. The crowd even looks pretty cool which was a nice touch.

Sound: Although every person comes out to the exact same song, they did a nice job with the sound effects.Justin Roberts announces each character before the match begins and the kicks and punches sound pretty good for something I'm playing on my phone, music doesn't even sound this good on it. So that's saying something.

Gameplay: Granted I've only gotten to play this for a short period of time (About 2 hours) the controls are decent for what it is, if you've played Street Fighter 4 on the iPhone, controls are very similar, you have a joystick on the left side of the screen, and 2 buttons (one for punch, one for kick) on the right.) It took me a little bit to get used to the controls, my first match Undertaker whooped me like a government mule, poor Macho Man will never be the same. After I took time and looked at the in game manual, I had a better idea of what was going on and actually won a match. From what I can tell, special moves just kind of happen at random, I managed to hit an RKO with Randy Orton as well as his swinging backbreaker. I've seen Undertaker use the tombstone piledriver and the Last Ride as well. As far as gameplay modes are concerned: Exhibition, Road to Wrestlemania, Royal Rumble, Saturday Night's Main Event Tournament, Tag Team and Gauntlet Match fill out the options, meaning that there is a lot to choose from, which isn't a bad deal even though all of them play pretty much the same,  throw in multiplayer (which sadly I can't seem to get to work, nobody in my vicinity has this game) and the $2.99 price tag isn't so bad.  

Playable Characters: Jake "The Snake" Roberts, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, The Rock, Randy Orton, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and the Undertaker fill in the main roster. I would've liked to have had LOD or at least Demolition make it in, I suppose though this is WWE Wrestlefest, not the WWF I remember as a kid, and besides, does WWE even have a legit tag team anymore? Air Boom? Epico and Primo? Anyone? 

Arenas: Your choices consist of Smackdown, Raw, Wrestlemania, Royal Rumble, Saturday Night's Main Event, and if you want to pay extra money, the "Old" Survivor Series arena. Honestly they all look exactly alike, just the ring aprons are different. 


Complaints: My only real gripe with this game is that I have to pay extra money to unlock the following people: Big Boss Man, CM Punk, Shawn Michaels, Sheamus, Triple H, and the Survivor Series ring. Now granted, it's 99 cents, but why not make it an unlockable you can earn by completing the different modes?  I know that DLC has become a common place but it seems like every game is doing this now. I suppose it worked in the 80's, it might as well work now. 

Overall thoughts: For 4 dollars (I caved in and bought the DLC) I'm not too upset with this game, I've definitely spent money on a lot worse (DLC for Heavy Rain comes to mind...) and for an iOS game as I mentioned before, it's pretty well done. So if you enjoy arcade style wrestling, I'd recommend picking this one up.

National Chocolate Cake Day

Happy National Chocolate Cake Day! Wait, you didn't know that it was a holiday? Well, to be honest, neither did I, until about 15 minutes ago. I figured since it's a trending topic on twitter at the moment, and since I'm waiting for a load of laundry to finish, I'd tell you, my reader(s), of the story of the chocolate inferno cake, or as my friend and at the time room mate called it, the diabetes cake.

Imagine this piece of cake, but 5 times  bigger, yeah, this thing was a  BEAST!

It was actually around this time last year that we encountered the beastly cake. I had recently just gone over to my parents house after work as I do every Sunday, mainly out of habit, and because they feed me. My dad had brought home cake samples from his work, one of which, was the chocolate inferno cake. This thing was huge, I mean, think of your average size cake, and stick 5 cakes on top of that, all chocolate. I took one look at that thing and knew there would be some sort of repercussions for even trying to eat something like that, but figured, it's food. So the cake and I made the long trek (all 6 blocks!)  back to my house where my roommate and I decided to test our mettle versus the chocolate giant. Just looking at this thing would cause any weaker man to tremble in fear, we were ready, with plates and forks in hand, we cut into the monster, we joked around that just by looking at this cake we'd lose a foot to diabetes, then the first bite came. I've never tasted anything so sweet, it was like eating a pound of sugar mixed in chocolate mixed in a bag of cocoa mixed with salt. I thought I was going to go into a coma, my friend didn't do much better, the cake was kicking our asses into the first bite. I got about halfway through my one piece and gave up. The cake had defeated me. I drank nearly a half gallon of milk just to get the piece I had down.  Travis made it through half the cake throughout the week, he was determined to defeat the monstrous pastry, but alas, neither of us could muster the will to finish the entire thing, the cake...had won.The day that thing went into the trash was a sad day, I'm pretty sure I heard "Taps" play off in the distance... The fact either of us survived that ordeal is amazing, especially the after effect of that thing, my poor bathroom has never been the same. So it is with a heavy heart that we remember the diabetes cake, as it serves as a reminder, too much of a good thing is never a good thing, and don't feed your roommates chocolate cake after midnight.

Semper Fudge.